Thursday, March 12, 2015

Colonoscopy day! And immediate surgical consult? What?

If you're wary about getting a colonoscopy, let me set your mind at ease. It ain't no thing. Seriously. The worst part is the prep. That 4 liters of salty liquid? Uh, gross. They give you a flavor packet, which helps a bit, but it's pretty nasty.

Word of Advice: drink it COLD and fast. Each 8 oz glass, cold and fast.

Day of my colonoscopy it felt surreal. They get me back to pre-op, get me to get changed: no undies, keep bra on, johnny hospital gown, here are pants, don't worry, we'll pull them down when we need to, here's an IV.

Hey, my first IV! Sadly, not the last.

Once in the OR, the nurses kept me talking, the doctor was amazingly direct and forthright and warm and kind. They had me turn on my side and curl up. Told me they'd be giving me something in my IV, which I never even felt them touch my hand. I woke up once during the procedure and asked the one nurse to move because I couldn't see the screen and that's all I remember.

Next thing I know, I'm looking at the doctor in the recovery room who told me he found and removed one polyp and then there's ... a something that needs to be removed surgically and he's made me an appointment with a surgeon tomorrow for a meet and greet! Please tell all first degree relatives to go get a colonoscopy, okay?

Uhhhh, what? Surgeon? TOMORROW?


Met the surgeon. Very forthright, kind, straightforward, compassionate. Explained worst case scenarios and best case scenarios. Explained my being fat is a problem, but he's operated on people 4 times my size so no worries and twice as old, so surgery should be a snap. If we're lucky, it's a sigmoid colectomy and that is that. If it's progressed to Stage III, then we're looking at chemo, but let's not jump to that yet, okay?

Next week good for surgery? Oh actually, I'll be out of town. This is a slow growing kind of thing so one more week won't matter. Week after, okay?

Uhhh, okay, Doc.

Armed with pre-op appointments, my surgery was scheduled for March 5th. First thing in the morning due to family history of malignant hyperthermia, which is a whole separate issue.

Okay then!

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